Pinschers and ratters

And ovcharkas, oh my!

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I’m not sure why the whole process took them so long. My suspicion is that it actually didn’t. In the weeks between sending off the sample and receiving the results, I got loads of emails telling me what stage the sample was at, what the lab technicians were up to, what heavy science it involved. The best minds of my generation were destroyed by madness parsing my dog’s DNA!!

But I’ve seen some movies, and I know some intern will have dropped it into a test tube and centrifuged it for 10 seconds (probably mixing it up with other rubes’ dogs’ samples) and it would have been ready to go. They probably could have had it back to me by next day’s post. I’ll admit the emails and time-lag amped up the excitement, but then that just made the results more underwhelming.

Well! I don’t want to say that Rusty’s ancestors were a licentious bunch of thieves and scoundrels. So I’ll let the Wisdom Panel™️ DNA testers say it for me.

I mean, my hopes of Rusty’s acceptance into the peerage were dashed fairly early on by our first vet, but to call somebody a Prague Ratter seems needlessly offensive! Ovcharka sounds a bit more the thing to be, but 2% doesn’t do much elevating.

So, that’s £[redacted] I’m never getting back, and I consider it money ill spent. But the true treasure is the realisation I gained along the way: what are genetics when put against the reality of the yummiest chunk this side of a Segugio Italiano??

Good day sir. I said, good day!!